We call it 'Mootta' here and the Americans call it bed bug. The similarity ends there!
We take moottas for granted,a part and parcel of our life; similar to the presence of mosquitoes in Cochin which could give us sleepless nights, not when they bite but when they refrain from the bite, on a supposedly mosquito dry day; (that would never dusk). For Kochiites mosquito bites are simply a pre-requisite for sleep!
You go to a B-class cinema here and moottas are very much a part of the cinematic experience. They consummate the whole experience and add a new dimension to it: After all, we are generous human beings topping the knowledge/value-chain and are deemed to contribute to the existence of various species! Thus, in the cinema halls, we live up to a biological mandate or destiny, at least for the sake of it and in a very passive manner.
So far so good…!
Far away so bad…!
Bed bugs are threatening the very existence of a city now! The famed New York city! The city’s sprawling magnificence is its USP and people spend generously on tour trips to New York. Tourism industry there has a $30bn market!
But the terror of blood-sucking-vampire-like-imagery associated with bed bugs is preventing tourists from visiting the city! Clearly, the Americans are panic stricken! Worst of all, it is the holiday season in America!
The ‘assault’ cannot even be termed as an infestation. For instance, only one bug was found in the famous department store in New York! Stray incidents of bug-finds were reported by the newspapers and were soon followed by a landslide reaction of panic.
Recordonline.com begins a report, “Bloodsucking nocturnal monsters are spreading throughout the United States.”
The news portal goes on to report that the infestation has nothing to do with cleanliness and social status. (Aside: you be of any class, the bed bug socialism is sure to reach you). The report in its flow, quotes a pest-control expert,” Within the next 12 months, you probably know, or will know, somebody close to you that's been affected by bedbugs.” The expert is experiencing a sudden spurt in business and is able to charge upwards of 2500 bucks for an Anti-bug Operation!
Taunton Daily Gazette quotes, "It sounds like you can get them anywhere, any time of day and not know it until you get home,"
We don’t need further explanation...! In fact MSNBC is running an article on “How to avoid bed bugs when you’re in a hotel”. And guess what, twitter is full of #bedbug tweets!
Ignorance and panic!
Bed bugs were almost eradicated from America in the early 20th century. Two generations have passed since then. Now, with bed bugs reappearing, probably dropped in by tourists, the Americans are losing sleep. Considering the fear factor associated with bed bugs, the matter is not laughingly silly!
The problem according to Dr. Kevin Ochesner (Psychology, Columbia University) is that the Americans are ignorant of bed bugs’ activities. Their ignorance readily associates the poor blood-sucking, apple-seed-sized insects with something diabolic that induce panic and worry. Also, Americans' fantasizing of the subject spreads like a wild fire manifesting as rumours and gossips.
The whole thing stands complete when media chips in with its own news versions. After all, fear sells! My limited browsing of some US newspaper stories told me everything about bed bugs but that they are relatively harmless!
Dr. Ochesner advises the Americans to learn some quick facts about bed bugs and get rid of the fear!
May be we Indians could play some consultant role here. With years of specialized knowledge in 'bed bug management' to our credit, we can take it up as a BPO engagement and even run a dedicated call centre to reach out. This time around, no US citizens would consider themselves ‘Bangalored’ since on every count, it is a humanitarian mission! Even Obama will not politicize!
Now, if you really want to panic, want to establish that bed bugs pose a huge problem, then this Centers for Disease Control and Prevention study is suggested.
Also, try out this NY Times report for some interesting information on bed bugs!
Dating and bed bugs
What bed bugs mean to your date?
An interesting Face book apps survey in the wake of bed bug menace portrayed some creepy facts:
1. Respondents who have changed their usual dating spots because of bed bugs: 35%
2. Those who would leave their date, if they noticed a bed bug bite on their partner: 56%
3. Respondents who would cancel a date on partner’s admission of bed bug infestation: 45%
4. People who would cross-check with their date before going date's place once more, if the date had bed bugs in his/her place: 47%
5. People who would get out of their bad date citing bed bugs for an excuse: 45%
Showing posts with label Funny-but-grave. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny-but-grave. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
A dream come true!
Who would award a jobless security worker for sleeping?
It happened in Spain! And the one to take the sleeping bull by the horns was a security worker, who according to the judges ranked best in:
1. The speed with which he fell asleep
2. The high decibels with which he snored
3. Following originality in sleeping posture
4. Dressing well
Pedro Soria Lopez, an Ecuadorian, won a whopping 1000 Euros for his 17 minutes vigilant exercise, in a siesta contest organized by Spain's National Association of Friends of the Siesta. The aim of the contest was to bring to public notice the importance of noon-time siesta that Spaniards have cherished for generations, but which for the time being is threatened by a busy modern life style.
Invariably I thought of India. If such a contest were to be organized in India, where winners would be paid this kind of amount, a majority of our street dwellers would be elevated out of poverty, that too, overnight! Even the die-hard leftists would be surprised by the impact this innocent revolution can create.
In fact we can even find sponsors for this project! What an idea Sirji!
The government can cancel all other welfare projects like rural employment guarantee program and ask its poor citizens to go to sleep. In fact no public campaigning in this regard is needed! All the poor people in India are hungry and hunger is a good appetizer for sleep! It is a Universal principle that requires no validation. Just go to them one fine noon, wake them up and tell them that they have won this much of rupees and pay them then and there. It all sounds like a dream, right? In fact, we can even convert this into a national reality show. Every one would watch this and the ailing Doordarshan would get a sudden reprieve, provided it be the sole telecaster!
Coming back to Spain…
To ensure that none of the contestants faked a sleep, their pulse rates were monitored. 360 competitors took part and they had to be asleep for a stipulated time of 20 minutes. The contest lasted 9 days and was staged in a shopping mall in Madrid. Contestants were provided with individual sofas, as well.
I challenge the Spanish Armada to organize such a contest in India!
It happened in Spain! And the one to take the sleeping bull by the horns was a security worker, who according to the judges ranked best in:
1. The speed with which he fell asleep
2. The high decibels with which he snored
3. Following originality in sleeping posture
4. Dressing well
Pedro Soria Lopez, an Ecuadorian, won a whopping 1000 Euros for his 17 minutes vigilant exercise, in a siesta contest organized by Spain's National Association of Friends of the Siesta. The aim of the contest was to bring to public notice the importance of noon-time siesta that Spaniards have cherished for generations, but which for the time being is threatened by a busy modern life style.
Invariably I thought of India. If such a contest were to be organized in India, where winners would be paid this kind of amount, a majority of our street dwellers would be elevated out of poverty, that too, overnight! Even the die-hard leftists would be surprised by the impact this innocent revolution can create.
In fact we can even find sponsors for this project! What an idea Sirji!
The government can cancel all other welfare projects like rural employment guarantee program and ask its poor citizens to go to sleep. In fact no public campaigning in this regard is needed! All the poor people in India are hungry and hunger is a good appetizer for sleep! It is a Universal principle that requires no validation. Just go to them one fine noon, wake them up and tell them that they have won this much of rupees and pay them then and there. It all sounds like a dream, right? In fact, we can even convert this into a national reality show. Every one would watch this and the ailing Doordarshan would get a sudden reprieve, provided it be the sole telecaster!
Coming back to Spain…
To ensure that none of the contestants faked a sleep, their pulse rates were monitored. 360 competitors took part and they had to be asleep for a stipulated time of 20 minutes. The contest lasted 9 days and was staged in a shopping mall in Madrid. Contestants were provided with individual sofas, as well.
I challenge the Spanish Armada to organize such a contest in India!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Urge of Love!
Little did it know that it had made a record! In fact it shall never know! After all it’s just a whale, a female humpback in search of a mate!
The whale swam 9800 kilometres from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean to cuddle to a would-be. This odyssey of love is the longest ever in terms of geographical coverage, ever made by a humpback whale in recorded history! In fact it is the longest documented movement by a mammal--longer than the previously recorded seasonal migration by this species. (Let’s forget mammals also include human beings.)
On August 7, 1999 the female humpback was photographed off Brazil’s southeastern coast where it was found flirting with other whales in a breeding ground. Fulfilling one in eighty thousand of a chance (approx. there are 80,000 humpback whales in the planet), this camera-savvy was again photographed at a breeding ground off the eastern coast of Madagascar, two years later! (Distinctive shape of its tail and a pattern of spots on the tail helped scientists to verify the identity of this whale.) On the audometre this distance would read 6125 miles/9800 kilometres!
I don’t know if it is by sheer human prejudice or scientific reasoning, but until now, it has been widely held that only male humpbacks would travel this kind of blue enormity for a mate! It took a young-turk like you to break the notion; kudos Seema!( I can't help it, but give her a name!).
Seema has gone overboard by challenging another notion as well. The scientists, till now believed that these marathon swimmers travelled between north and south only, for their feeding and breeding . But Seema has been caught in the lens which blinked twice; at west and east. An east-west pattern of feeding and breeding among humpbacks would emerge, provided there are more discoveries in the same vein.
If this be the case and scientists are able to figure out any change in the genetic profile of these whales, it can go a long way in conserving them.
These humpbacks were on the verge of extinction, but concerted efforts in conservation are bearing fruits. There are more of junior Seemas in the pipeline!
Until I write this piece, it is unsure whether Seema has found her match. Still,let’s wish her a happy married life!
The whale swam 9800 kilometres from the Atlantic to the Indian Ocean to cuddle to a would-be. This odyssey of love is the longest ever in terms of geographical coverage, ever made by a humpback whale in recorded history! In fact it is the longest documented movement by a mammal--longer than the previously recorded seasonal migration by this species. (Let’s forget mammals also include human beings.)
On August 7, 1999 the female humpback was photographed off Brazil’s southeastern coast where it was found flirting with other whales in a breeding ground. Fulfilling one in eighty thousand of a chance (approx. there are 80,000 humpback whales in the planet), this camera-savvy was again photographed at a breeding ground off the eastern coast of Madagascar, two years later! (Distinctive shape of its tail and a pattern of spots on the tail helped scientists to verify the identity of this whale.) On the audometre this distance would read 6125 miles/9800 kilometres!
I don’t know if it is by sheer human prejudice or scientific reasoning, but until now, it has been widely held that only male humpbacks would travel this kind of blue enormity for a mate! It took a young-turk like you to break the notion; kudos Seema!( I can't help it, but give her a name!).
Seema has gone overboard by challenging another notion as well. The scientists, till now believed that these marathon swimmers travelled between north and south only, for their feeding and breeding . But Seema has been caught in the lens which blinked twice; at west and east. An east-west pattern of feeding and breeding among humpbacks would emerge, provided there are more discoveries in the same vein.
If this be the case and scientists are able to figure out any change in the genetic profile of these whales, it can go a long way in conserving them.
These humpbacks were on the verge of extinction, but concerted efforts in conservation are bearing fruits. There are more of junior Seemas in the pipeline!
Until I write this piece, it is unsure whether Seema has found her match. Still,let’s wish her a happy married life!
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Lean Force
I don’t know how the coveted Kerala Police would react to the same situation, but West Midlands Police officers in the United Kingdom have been advised to choose underwears of ‘appropriate colour’ which would be ‘inconspicuous’ under uniforms, while they are on duty.
[In the Indian context, it can be tweaked, “Avoid underwears that make a big impression.”]
The ruffled officers dubbed the advice as ‘nannying’. The ‘grooming advice’ came as jolt when the officers opened their “message of the day” section in the force intranet.
However, the officials privy to this advice, state that it has been promulgated to improve the appearance of police officers in public; that they appear smart and professional. The advice as such, doesn’t represent a policy adoption. In official parlance, it is just a commonsensical approach in these matters that has been expected out of the force.
It is unclear how adopting underwear of ‘commonsensical colour’ would make a difference…after all it’s not an outerwear, unless you are a Superman. It should be deemed that the force is getting leaner, which means, their trousers (despite having a belt) are saggy!
It is also unclear whether there are any specific directives for women officers!
The news was reported by BBC.
[In the Indian context, it can be tweaked, “Avoid underwears that make a big impression.”]
The ruffled officers dubbed the advice as ‘nannying’. The ‘grooming advice’ came as jolt when the officers opened their “message of the day” section in the force intranet.
However, the officials privy to this advice, state that it has been promulgated to improve the appearance of police officers in public; that they appear smart and professional. The advice as such, doesn’t represent a policy adoption. In official parlance, it is just a commonsensical approach in these matters that has been expected out of the force.
It is unclear how adopting underwear of ‘commonsensical colour’ would make a difference…after all it’s not an outerwear, unless you are a Superman. It should be deemed that the force is getting leaner, which means, their trousers (despite having a belt) are saggy!
It is also unclear whether there are any specific directives for women officers!
The news was reported by BBC.
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